Posts Tagged ‘parents’

I bet there are people who live their lives never thinking to themselves…”Did I just say that out loud??” Unfortunately, for me and those around me, I am not one of those lucky few. When I celebrated Christmas this year with my family, I heard those words running through my head again!

Every Christmas, my mom, my two sisters and I, plan a day for the four of us to go to lunch together and have time away from the chaos of the kids and men! This year was no different, as we headed out to lunch the conversation turned toward my blog and my writing. This is where the brilliance happened.

I was telling them about the different ideas I had on topics I wanted to write about when I shared my most recent idea, an idea that wasn’t completely thought out, yet. “We all ruin our kids, we may not mean to and we do the best that we can but in the end, we ruin them.” Ahhh, yes…my two sisters and my MOM are in the car, remember. As my sisters heads spun around backwards simultaneously to looks at me (and with no audible words the both said, “No you did not just say that!”) I sheepishly, glanced over at my mom sitting next to me who was now repositioning herself in her seat to look at me straight on and I said “I mean we all do it….its not on purpose….”

Her response was, “Really, so tell me how your Father and I ruined you?” I glanced toward the front seat and noticed that my sisters had both become consumed by the beautiful Iowa scenery outside of the car, actually it was more like a longing to be anywhere other than in our car.

Did I mention that the idea was not completely thought out? We did survive our lunch together, there were beautiful gifts given at lunch and that helped!! I don’t know if my mom really ever understood what I meant but I will try to explain.

I have a lot of really bad habits and sinful ways. Things I am not proud of and I know without a shadow of a doubt I am passing on some of those things to my children. I could be a much better communicator. My children will learn how to communicate relationally from my husband and me. We are their examples and we are imperfect! But we are not the only ones. The only human being to be perfect was Jesus, so, I am making the leap that anyone who is a parent is going to pass on some bad habits!

Maybe ruin was too strong of a word. I truly believe that it is not intentional but that it is human nature. As parents, I know that Michael and I are doing the best that we can and are committed to keep trying and be the best examples that we can for our kids. But, we will fail at times and maybe the best thing we can do is tell our kids when we screw up and let them know it is ok to make mistakes but get right back in the race.

Establishing some type of counseling fund wouldn’t hurt either! In the end we are all damaged goods but Glory to God that we have a Savior who loves us no matter how damaged or ruined we are!!

My favorite valentine memory, hands down, is the Valentine of 1990. I was a junior in college at the University of Northern Iowa and my boyfriend, Michael, was a junior at Iowa State University. We had started dating the summer before our senior years in High School. Although we were at different colleges we spent most weekends together, either at each other’s schools or back at home.
On Valentine’s Day 1990, there was a horrible snow storm and Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday. It seemed as if Michael and I would not get to see each other this Valentine’s Day. But he had other plans!! Even though there was a snow storm he drove to my college picked me up, drove to our home town, about an hour away and took me out to dinner!
It was a great dinner and before we started our trek back to my school, Michael needed to pick something up at his home. As we got to his house he told me he had a song he wanted to play for me on the piano. I was getting a little nervous about the weather and his drive back to his school but agreed to hear the song.
He had written a song for me, he told me to close my eyes and listen to the song. It was beautiful and at the end he asked me to marry him!!!!
What I didn’t know but was about to find out, was that our parents, grandparents and siblings some with spouses(and babies), were all downstairs listening to the whole thing!!! It was a great celebration!
One more thing, Michael had hidden a video camera in a laundry basket and videotaped the whole thing!
It is not only a Valentine memory I will never forget but one that I cherish very much.
Michael and I have been married for almost 19 years and have three beautiful children. God has blessed us beyond measure.

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