Posts Tagged ‘jeans’

“I forgive you” my daughter says when she has been punished for something naughty she has done. When a favorite toy is taken from her for a “time out”, immediately she tells me she forgives me. Even though this really isn’t they way forgiveness is supposed to work, it stuck in my head and I started thinking about people or situations I needed to forgive and hadn’t.

I am almost positive that the God of the Universe didn’t reserve his forgiveness just for me. Why then do I withhold forgiveness from anyone? One of the worst things about withholding forgiveness isn’t really about what you are denying the person who has offended you; it is what that withholding can do to your own heart.

If you are anything like me, (sorry, but there has to be at least one person out there) holding on to the offense in some situations can become a kind of obsession. Like the care and devotion required to grow a bonsai tree. They require just the right amount of water; sun light, temperature and constant pruning. You want to tell others how you have been hurt (another sin by the way); you will play out different scenarios in your head where you get to seize revenge on your offender and cause humiliation for them. Oh, what sweet revenge, right? But what actually happens, is a drift from the One who has forgiven you millions of times over and over again. The offense starts to poison your heart and if left untreated it can become like a cancer consuming all of you. And this could be just one instance!!!! This cancer will invite other cancers to come and take up residence in your heart, like bitterness, resentment, guilt, shame, fear and even hate. If you are not proactive you could end up with a heart that has no room for the love of Christ and seems to be covered in a thick black tar called pride and self righteousness.

Those of you who are different than me, tend to never acknowledge that there was any type of wrong doing in the first place instead you internalize your hurt by not speaking about it at all. You say nothing and act as if nothing has happened and if any emotion regarding the hurt starts to show itself you immediately push it back into a nice little box next to all of the other hurts you are carrying around. Guess what? That doesn’t work either. Sooner or later all of those boxes will start to bulge and rip, until finally they can hold no more and it starts to ooze out the sides, until an explosion happens and you end up spewing all of that pent up hurt, resentment and bitterness on everyone around you. It reminds me of a pair of jeans I once owned. I loved those jeans. I loved them so much that even after I had out grown them I still jammed myself into them, contorting my body into all kinds of strange positions and asking for assistance from girlfriends to get them on, until one day after getting them on they burst! I do mean burst! The button went flying off and the zipper completely ripped out. I felt a very deep sadness that the jeans had finally quit on me but also a very distinct sense of relief. I am pretty sure that was my spleen and a few other internal organs sensing the release in pressure.

We are human and forgiveness isn’t going to come naturally for most of us but God has commanded us to forgive and more than that he has also commanded us to go to the person who has offended us. This is not always an easy thing to do especially if the person who has hurt you is not a Christian. If that is the case, you are not off the hook, seek wise counsel from your pastor or a Christian mentor and make plan, realize that the person may not hear you and accept your forgiveness. The most important thing is that you truly forgive and move on.

Please don’t mistake forgiveness with forgetting. There are some hurts that still require you to forgive but not to forget what has happened. We still need to protect our selves from situations that could put us or others in danger.

I am committed to becoming more like my daughter and immediately asking for and giving forgiveness, to keeping the cancers out of my heart, realizing when the jeans don’t fit anymore and living the life God has planned for me!