Posts Tagged ‘grace’

Don’t hate me but, I am a Cat person. I love dogs too. But my whole married life for the exception of a couple of years we have had a cat. I know there is quite a large group of anti-cat people but truly I love all animals, well, except ferrets, sorry can’t take the smell!
Recently, we adopted a new kitten. We found her during a fourth of July trip to Iowa, and named her Alley Cat! Like puppies, kittens love to play with everything and anything…which can get them into trouble.
I don’t have a lot of super expensive things but I do have some things, that I probably paid way to much for…like this one beautiful vase.
Let’s just say that Alley helped the vase fall to the floor, where it became a pile of pieces of a vase that I paid way to much for. Broken, crushed, destroyed and the beauty of the vase gone forever. Or is it?
I am broken. Some days it feels like I have been broken into a million pieces. I know I have felt crushed by my past and the consequences that still haunt me. I have destroyed progress that I continue to try and make, and trust me there are more days than I want to admit that I do not feel beautiful.
As I watched my husband and son tackle the huge task of putting the vase back together, it made me think of how God can put people back together no matter how many millions of pieces they may be broken into. There is no sin that He won’t forgive. He can help you learn from your past. He can lift the crushing weight of any circumstance. What you have destroyed He can heal and He thinks I am beautiful everyday.
I am no longer fearful of my brokenness because of the One who “fixes” me. Like my vase, I am still broken (you can see the cracks) but my purpose remains and I am committed to becoming the woman God created me to be.
Psalm 34:17-19 NIV
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all

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Being the middle child really is tough.  I have always considered myself the middle child.  There is four of us, my brother first and then three girls.  I am the middle girl, so I consider myself the middle child. (Maybe a stretch but it has worked out for me so far!)

I am a mother of three, so for those literal types out there, I have a “real” middle child.  He is my joy and fear at the same time.  God is so masterful in how he creates each one of us.  All of my children have such unique personalities.  This was very frustrating at first.  When I felt like I had gotten something figured out with my first child, it would have been nice to use that knowledge on the other two as they came along….but that wasn’t part of God’s design for me as a parent!! I have had to learn different ways to get my children to obey, be motivated and communicate their feelings.

My Noah, oh my Noah.  How I love him.  He is the spitting image of his Daddy.  He is creative, outgoing, competitive, has a heart for Jesus and I think, very handsome!!  Why then, do I struggle, in connecting with him as his mother?  It is a shameful thing to admit that I struggle with this.

Noah is also, a strong willed child.  We butt heads on almost everything.  Sometimes the drama that he creates around some of the simplest things, like putting on his shoes, dumbfounds me.  In my most sacred parts of my soul, I know some of my struggle comes from how much I see of myself in him.

This inner struggle he seems to have, to be heard, noticed, and given praise is never fulfilled.  But is it ever in any of us?  Maybe I relate to his struggle because I am a middle child too.  I have always tried to fill him up because I know what a life of never feeling full can lead to.  I want him to learn from my mistakes and feel full, heard, noticed and known.

In an attempt to continue to fill him up, I started leaving him Notes on his desk 2 or 3 times a week.  Saying things like, “you have a beautiful smile” or “I am so happy God let me be your mom”….and then last week while I was writing one of my notes to him, it hit me, God has left all of us notes to help fill us up.  Notes that give encouragement, security, love, forgiveness and grace.  We can find all of His notes in the Bible.  God is the only thing that can fill any of us up.  So my notes for Noah became scripture.  Notes that Noah’s heavenly Father has sent for him.  I just get to be the messenger!

Thank you Lord, for your book full of notes for all of us. Thank you Lord, for filling me up!  Thank you Lord, for letting me be Noah’s mom.

Go check your book full of notes from the One and only God of the Universe.  He has written them just for you.

Romans 8:38-39 (New Living Translation)

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.