Posts Tagged ‘faith’

I love sports. I understand sports better than most females… mainly three of them, baseball, basketball and football. I am the chic who can explain why a runner was called out, why a player fouled out and why our team was just given the ball back. I have never held a “legal” coaching position, but believe me I do A LOT of coaching from the sidelines, bleachers and my folding chair! Both of my boys play baseball, football and basketball, surprise!! One of them asked to play hockey once, ONCE.

So, it is football season and I find myself twice a week attending football games and coaching from the bleachers. The bad thing about coaching from the bleachers is that you have to yell really loud. A girl has got to do what she has to do, right?

My oldest son plays for his middle school and the parents for the most part are very, very quiet, except for one. I do not yell anything negative at the players but I do yell and call them ALL out when they do something great. I can tell sometimes that other parents are trying to figure me out and I always feel really bad for the parent who knows me, sits by me and then gets to experience me at a football game.

I started thinking maybe I should have a t-shirt printed with a disclaimer statement on the back of it or a big yellow blanket with the words “splash zone” printed on it to keep the innocent away.

I want my faith to be loud like this. I don’t want to scare anyone but I want to feel so excited and over come that when I see God working in my life or someone else’s that I scream with joy and encouragement. I want to stand up and cheer, and ooh and awe with all of God’s fans. I pray for a day that just by the way I live my life it is as if I have a megaphone, leading the crowd in a cheer for Jesus. Gimme a J… gimme an E…

Maybe one day my “splash zone” blanket will become a place where people want to sit and cheer with me. And I pray that one day; my faith brings people into God’s splash zone. Bring your rain coat because you are definitely gonna get wet.

I am trying to live courageously. I recently read some where that courage is simply fear with faith. My daughter who is four has been struggling with fear. She is trying in her four year old way to understand heaven. She insists she doesn’t want to go there, ever! No matter how much I try to explain to her how fantastic and awesome it will be. Finally, the other day in a very small voice she said to me, “Mommy when I go there, will you hold me until I get there?” I swallowed my own tears and immediately told her yes!!! In her own little way she was still fearful but had faith that with me holding her it would be ok. Courage from my four year old!
I want my courage to break the chains that bind me to certain habits or sin and I know fear is a big part of that. For me there can be fear in learning how to live my life in the absence of my bad habit or sin. My fear has resulted in me creating so many different masks for myself, in the fear that this person needs to see me this way and a different person another way. Quite frankly, it is very exhausting and I don’t want to do it any more, so I’m not.
I am going to have faith that if a person doesn’t or can’t accept me for who I am then it is time to move on. And just for clarification, I am a sinner. I’m really good at it. It seems to come pretty natural to me. Sometimes my kids listen to inappropriate music and I let them, sometimes I scream at my kids and my husband. I lie, and have lied about lying. Sometimes I drink too much and sometimes I eat too much. I gossip and scorn people who do the same. I get envious of things I can’t have and buy things I shouldn’t and hide them from my husband. And I have spent a life time of caring way too much about what you think of me instead of focusing on how much God loves me despite all of my sins and bad habits.
I am going to work on sinning less. I am going to believe for the first time in my life that God doesn’t want a rule follower, He wants me. He wants me broken, ugly and with all my masks off. He loves me despite myself. I am going to judge less, and love more. I am going to speak the truth and hold my tongue, sometimes.
I am going to try and live courageously, knowing that my heavenly Father is holding me until I get to heaven and no matter what, I am safe with his arms around me.

Whether you like it or not, God can use you and your circumstances to teach someone else a powerful lesson about life, death and His plan for them. Some of us may shudder at the mere thought of anyone learning anything even remotely useful from our lives/circumstances, but I did say that God would be the one teaching, therefore all things are possible!

You can relax because He can use the simplest things in our lives. You don’t need to have a horrible past that you have over come or be a brilliant scientist who discovers a cure for an incurable disease. God can reach people just by the way you make your peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When I first met Paul he was a young, vibrant, singer at our church. He had recently gotten married and he and his wife had their whole lives ahead of them. A few years later when I really got to know Paul, he had been diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” and had been living with it for about a year and a half.

My husband and I, were in a growth group from our church with Paul and his wife, and there story was an inspiration to all of us. Paul’s faith in the struggles they were facing was undeniable and contagious.

Once, Paul fell at home and his wife was at work, he couldn’t get back up or to a phone. When he shared this, the next evening at our growth group, someone asked, “What did you do for those hours while you waited for your wife to get home?” I will never forget his simple and direct answer. “I talked to God, sang hymns and took a nap.” He didn’t complain that he had to lay there and wait for help. As a matter of fact, he made some comment to the effect of “what else was I gonna do? I wasn’t going anywhere.” To have been able to look at all of our faces through his eyes that night must have been hilarious! Mouths open, eyes bulging, with shock and there were those moved to tears (not so pretty either).

When true, honest and pure, surrender and worship shows up like it did with Paul, it can take your breath away and you make really ugly faces! (This group did anyway!)

So, what is the Peanut Butter and Jelly about? During one of our growth group in depth discussions, the subject of how you like your PB&J came up. We could go really deep sometimes!! Paul was very opinionated about the correct way to make this American classic, jelly on one piece of the bread and peanut butter on the other, NEVER both on one piece of bread. I 100% agreed with him! I knew from then on I was really going to like this guy.

Our time in growth group together came to an end and I hadn’t spoken with Paul and his wife for some time before I heard of his passing. But this morning God woke me up early remembering Paul and the way he liked his PB&J! It brought a smile to my face and tidal wave of memories about Paul’s faith, wisdom and goofy nature!!!
On, February 17th, 2010 Paul left this earth and is eternally healed. He will be missed by so many but I thank God for using something little like, the PB&J to help me remember Paul’s true essence and heart for God.

Paul’s life is an inspiration for me on my journey. Paul trusted God and His plan for his life. I am still working on that. Thanks Paul, for your unshakable faith and great example of loving God in all things and circumstances.

1 Peter 4: 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.

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