Posts Tagged ‘Cancer’

Have you ever been at a loss for words? Maybe a joy filled moment, a moment when you were awe struck or a time when fear or panic of saying the wrong thing paralyzed your vocal cords…

For those of you who don’t know me very well, being at a loss of words really isn’t typically a problem for me, until now.

My sons, Jacob and Noah, take hitting lessons from an amazing man. The technical knowledge he has is amazing and his ability to get my children to pay attention and do what he says can make me jealous some days!!

John conducts his lessons in his basement; it is not a fancy setup. He has hung a net in between his two by fours and tosses balls into the air for the boys to hit. Often his laundry is going and lots of “basement” stuff fills up most of the space….got the picture? But he has helped my boys with their hitting tremendously and more importantly there confidence.

I can honestly say in the 7 years that my boys have been actively involved in baseball he has been the one and the only (beside my husband and myself) who has truly invested in them. He cares about how they are doing, he gives them praise when they deserve it and helps them see and fix areas that they struggle with.

You may wonder what this has to do with me being at a loss for words.

John has a very rare form of bone marrow cancer that is terminal. He is on the bone marrow registry but his doctors have told him that a match is highly unlikely. His only brother, who could have been a donor, died a year before John got sick.

What’s keeping my mouth shut? I am not sure if John is a Christian.

I am stuck. I have witnessed and shared my faith with people. I try to live my life so that no one would be shocked to find out that I am a Christian, some days better than others. But I am stuck. I fear not having the right words, I fear offending him, and I fear turning him from God….

We have been commanded by God to share the gospel. I deeply care about him but know that our days with him are limited. I feel God urging me to speak up and my hearts desire is to speak. But I remain silent. I talk myself out of it, saying that it is too personal a subject. But after a hitting lesson with one of my sons, I feel devastated that I have not followed God’s urgings. It is like I am stuck in between who I used to be and who God wants me to be. I am trying to find that middle ground.

I have tried to think of different ways to “kinda” do it…leave a book talking about Christ and heaven “accidentally” at his home…or maybe talk about someone else…like this “friend” I have who is struggling with sharing her faith…ugh! For me, it seems there is no middle ground.  I do realize that John doesn’t need me or anyone else, like all of us what he needs is, Jesus.

I will share my faith with him. I am praying for courage and a heart that demonstrates God’s unconditional love for him. Why do I know I will do it? Because I am sharing this with you now. It makes it real. I feel it holds me accountable. And most importantly I have discussed it with my oldest son and I want to show him that even though I am fearful, I know and trust that God will give me the words. I will not stay caught in the middle.

What John chooses to do with the information is up to him but I will pray continually for him and for a miraculous healing!!!

Do you have a John in your life? Will you share your faith?

Mark 16:15 (NIV)
He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.

Have you ever thought you had everything planned out for the day. Get kids to school, come home, do laundry, vacuum, dust, exercise, run to grocery store, pick kids up from school, help with home work, quick dinner, get everyone to practice/games come home, give baths, help review for test tomorrow, drop into bed, zzzzzzz
But the reality for your day could be a completely different plan….plan B…God’s plan.

Recently my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  It was determined to be in the early stages but complete removal of the prostrate was the recommended treatment.  The surgery was scheduled for the end of the month.  I made the necessary  arrangements to travel home for the surgery(only slightly less difficult than preparing for the launch of the next shuttle into space) and went.

After about an hour and a half into the surgery the attending nurse came out and told my mom that the surgery was finished.(not good news when at the minimum the surgery was to take three hours)  The doctor and the anesthesiologist informed us that they had not been able to intubate my dad and would need to reschedule to surgery for a later date when he could be awake and easier to intubate.

Wait….what!!! But we are all here and he is ready and it needs to happen now…its cancer…get it out of him….NOW!!!…we are not waiting…wake him up and try now!!!!

It may not be a scheduled surgery…it could be something as simple as a child waking up sick during the night and you have an important meeting the next day or something as drastic as the sudden loss of a loved one but whatever it may be that changes your plan A to plan B, are you ready?  Are you willing?

The idea that we are in control of our lives is comforting but not the truth.  God is in control and he has a plan for our lives.  Are we to sit back and wait for the perfect instructions?  Yes and No!  Yes, be available to hear God speak to you but we must also live!  Plan your life according to His Word and the instructions on how to live but be prepared to let go of those plans if he redirects you!!!

My dad had his surgery and is recovering at home.  I believe the anesthesiologist could not intubate my dad the first time because of my dad’s anatomy but I also think that God wants to teach me to take these opportunities when plan A doesn’t work out, to look for His plan.  For my mom, dad and other family members it could have been a different lesson.  The possibilities for the amount of different lessons and outcomes for all of the people involved is mind boggling.  The doctors, nurses, babysitters, who ever was involved in the procedure that day, God has plans for !!! Amazing!! Wonderful!

Our God never ceases to amaze me!

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”