My husband and I have been married for 18 years, 10 months and 6 days or 165,238 hours and counting, of married life have passed us by, all in an instant. When I think back to the young couple of 165,238 hours ago, they seem sometimes to be more like long lost friends. We started dating the summer before our senior year in high school and after the first year, getting married eventually was always part of our long term plan.

I always knew I wanted to be married and have children but I also had grown up in a time when having a career and being successful on my own was seen as a must, otherwise you were a woman living subservient to your husband and all men. I received my degree in Psychology with a minor in journalism and a few years later went on to get my Masters degree in Public Administration. I was on my way, establishing my career and putting a family on hold.

We were the generation of DINK…(dual income no kids), through most of the late 80’s and early 90’s women were breaking the glass ceiling and as a women we were being told by the media, that women can and should have successful careers and a well balanced family life. Focusing on your career and focusing equally on having and raising children was possible and those who couldn’t and choose to stay home with their children were taking all women backward! Thank goodness I didn’t buy into this.

It can be such a paradigm; it is like we are expected to be superwomen. Men were not expected to do it ALL and do it all successfully. I believe that is why so many women today have waited to get married. They are focusing on their careers, realizing you can’t do everything, and by the time they feel established in their career, they are in their 40’s and alone.

For me it has all been about balance and still is today. I have my degrees and my husband and I decided when our first child was 18 months old, that I would stay home with him. It is not a glamorous life but my children do give me a lot of material to write about. I still struggle with finding balance and keeping negative thoughts about what I should or should not be doing with my life, out of my head.

I believe the missing message for women today, in part, is that you can get married young, or wait. You can get your degree and use it immediately or wait. You can start a family as a young couple or wait. The beauty of our lives as women today is that we HAVE options. No need to panic if you need to wait on meeting the guy right for you.

The second part of the missing message is, we are all flawed and broken. There has only been one Mr. Perfect, and he is not looking to get married. But he would love to have a relationship with you and the best part he already loves you more than any other human being ever will!!!!