Matthew 25:40 (New International Version)
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

During these challenging economic times, it is tempting to turn into self. My natural inclination is to focus on what I perceive as my needs in order to “make it,” and what strategic moves I need to make to “come up.” The old adage of “get all you can and can all you get,” becomes our mantra as we scramble to hoard resources and manage our personal economies.
I believe that scrambling, hoarding, and self perseverance may be the world’s way of dealing with financially troubling times, but they are not God’s. In fact, the phrase “Kingdom Economics” is an oxymoron. “Economics” by itself renders thoughts of limited resources – and in God’s kingdom, nothing good and necessary is limited or scarce. God himself is the source of our provision – not our employers, the stock market, or our even our own businesses. God directs the flow of resources into our lives, choosing whichever channels please him. So while he may use our employers, the stock market, or our own businesses to bless us financially, make no mistake, He is using them.
How different is the perspective of someone who is constantly looking to share with others, from that of someone who is constantly looking to take from others, or to merely receive from God.
Here are five great reasons to serve others:
1. Serving Makes Me Grateful
It’s true. When you are tempted to complain about how bad things are, like the fact that you lack funds to purchase that new refrigerator you really must have. Remember, you have a refrigerator! Serving those who are truly in need helps me gain proper perspective on my own situation. If you’ve been hit hard by the economy, imagine what people who make less money, or who have lost their incomes entirely must be experiencing right now. There are many people in need who are grateful for every small thing. I am convicted of my ungrateful, selfish mindset whenever I meet them. We are all God’s children – we just find ourselves in different situations.
2. Serving Plugs Me Into Groups Serving Those in Need in My Community
People who serve voluntarily tend to enjoy giving back to their communities. They are often either directly or indirectly part of a network of people who pool resources and mobilize communities to work together for the sake of those in need. They are privy to information and projects that people who don’t consistently serve are not. I recommend finding group or organization that is closely related to something you enjoy doing. Do you like to shop? Try collecting clothes for “store” that provides business attire for those seeking jobs. Do you enjoy cooking? Take on a shift at a local soup kitchen, preparing or serving meals. Do you shop regularly for groceries? Find out what your local or church food pantry needs and add a few extra items to your list.
3. Serving Affirms the Dignity of My Fellow Man
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came down from heaven to serve not to be served. Why? Because he values every human life. When I adopt his mindset, I see that every person breathing deserves my respect. In God’s kingdom respect is given – not earned – just as love is. When the bottom fell out of my family’s financial world a few years back, many of the people who helped us were very careful to affirm our dignity. What could have been a potentially humiliating time in my life, turned out to be one that confirmed for me just how much God loves me. For me, God used a horrible time in my life to prepare me to have more of a servant’s heart. By the way, I believe it is a lot easier to be the person giving, than receiving.
4. By Serving Others I Actually Serve Christ
Jesus spoke in the gospel of Matthew, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Throughout scripture God affirms and reaffirms that he is on the side of the poor and the oppressed. He identifies with them so strongly, that to serve them is to serve him.
5. Serving Pleases God
Serving others as a means to please the Lord is not based on a debtor’s ethic. I am not working off what I owe God for my salvation. God would never put such a burden on me. I serve in response to the love that God has shown me – namely his sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. God desires my company so much that he willfully sacrificed his Son so that He could be in relationship with me! What do I have that I can give God in exchange for that? Nothing. But I can express my gratitude, by showing that same sacrificial love to others through humbly serving them in Jesus’ name.
I don’t get the opportunity to serve others outside of my home as much as I used to, but I do believe that my daily service to my husband and children, is just as much a part of having a servant’s heart as any of the other opportunities!

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My husband and I have been married for 18 years, 10 months and 6 days or 165,238 hours and counting, of married life have passed us by, all in an instant. When I think back to the young couple of 165,238 hours ago, they seem sometimes to be more like long lost friends. We started dating the summer before our senior year in high school and after the first year, getting married eventually was always part of our long term plan.

I always knew I wanted to be married and have children but I also had grown up in a time when having a career and being successful on my own was seen as a must, otherwise you were a woman living subservient to your husband and all men. I received my degree in Psychology with a minor in journalism and a few years later went on to get my Masters degree in Public Administration. I was on my way, establishing my career and putting a family on hold.

We were the generation of DINK…(dual income no kids), through most of the late 80’s and early 90’s women were breaking the glass ceiling and as a women we were being told by the media, that women can and should have successful careers and a well balanced family life. Focusing on your career and focusing equally on having and raising children was possible and those who couldn’t and choose to stay home with their children were taking all women backward! Thank goodness I didn’t buy into this.

It can be such a paradigm; it is like we are expected to be superwomen. Men were not expected to do it ALL and do it all successfully. I believe that is why so many women today have waited to get married. They are focusing on their careers, realizing you can’t do everything, and by the time they feel established in their career, they are in their 40’s and alone.

For me it has all been about balance and still is today. I have my degrees and my husband and I decided when our first child was 18 months old, that I would stay home with him. It is not a glamorous life but my children do give me a lot of material to write about. I still struggle with finding balance and keeping negative thoughts about what I should or should not be doing with my life, out of my head.

I believe the missing message for women today, in part, is that you can get married young, or wait. You can get your degree and use it immediately or wait. You can start a family as a young couple or wait. The beauty of our lives as women today is that we HAVE options. No need to panic if you need to wait on meeting the guy right for you.

The second part of the missing message is, we are all flawed and broken. There has only been one Mr. Perfect, and he is not looking to get married. But he would love to have a relationship with you and the best part he already loves you more than any other human being ever will!!!!

I bet there are people who live their lives never thinking to themselves…”Did I just say that out loud??” Unfortunately, for me and those around me, I am not one of those lucky few. When I celebrated Christmas this year with my family, I heard those words running through my head again!

Every Christmas, my mom, my two sisters and I, plan a day for the four of us to go to lunch together and have time away from the chaos of the kids and men! This year was no different, as we headed out to lunch the conversation turned toward my blog and my writing. This is where the brilliance happened.

I was telling them about the different ideas I had on topics I wanted to write about when I shared my most recent idea, an idea that wasn’t completely thought out, yet. “We all ruin our kids, we may not mean to and we do the best that we can but in the end, we ruin them.” Ahhh, yes…my two sisters and my MOM are in the car, remember. As my sisters heads spun around backwards simultaneously to looks at me (and with no audible words the both said, “No you did not just say that!”) I sheepishly, glanced over at my mom sitting next to me who was now repositioning herself in her seat to look at me straight on and I said “I mean we all do it….its not on purpose….”

Her response was, “Really, so tell me how your Father and I ruined you?” I glanced toward the front seat and noticed that my sisters had both become consumed by the beautiful Iowa scenery outside of the car, actually it was more like a longing to be anywhere other than in our car.

Did I mention that the idea was not completely thought out? We did survive our lunch together, there were beautiful gifts given at lunch and that helped!! I don’t know if my mom really ever understood what I meant but I will try to explain.

I have a lot of really bad habits and sinful ways. Things I am not proud of and I know without a shadow of a doubt I am passing on some of those things to my children. I could be a much better communicator. My children will learn how to communicate relationally from my husband and me. We are their examples and we are imperfect! But we are not the only ones. The only human being to be perfect was Jesus, so, I am making the leap that anyone who is a parent is going to pass on some bad habits!

Maybe ruin was too strong of a word. I truly believe that it is not intentional but that it is human nature. As parents, I know that Michael and I are doing the best that we can and are committed to keep trying and be the best examples that we can for our kids. But, we will fail at times and maybe the best thing we can do is tell our kids when we screw up and let them know it is ok to make mistakes but get right back in the race.

Establishing some type of counseling fund wouldn’t hurt either! In the end we are all damaged goods but Glory to God that we have a Savior who loves us no matter how damaged or ruined we are!!

Whether you like it or not, God can use you and your circumstances to teach someone else a powerful lesson about life, death and His plan for them. Some of us may shudder at the mere thought of anyone learning anything even remotely useful from our lives/circumstances, but I did say that God would be the one teaching, therefore all things are possible!

You can relax because He can use the simplest things in our lives. You don’t need to have a horrible past that you have over come or be a brilliant scientist who discovers a cure for an incurable disease. God can reach people just by the way you make your peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When I first met Paul he was a young, vibrant, singer at our church. He had recently gotten married and he and his wife had their whole lives ahead of them. A few years later when I really got to know Paul, he had been diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” and had been living with it for about a year and a half.

My husband and I, were in a growth group from our church with Paul and his wife, and there story was an inspiration to all of us. Paul’s faith in the struggles they were facing was undeniable and contagious.

Once, Paul fell at home and his wife was at work, he couldn’t get back up or to a phone. When he shared this, the next evening at our growth group, someone asked, “What did you do for those hours while you waited for your wife to get home?” I will never forget his simple and direct answer. “I talked to God, sang hymns and took a nap.” He didn’t complain that he had to lay there and wait for help. As a matter of fact, he made some comment to the effect of “what else was I gonna do? I wasn’t going anywhere.” To have been able to look at all of our faces through his eyes that night must have been hilarious! Mouths open, eyes bulging, with shock and there were those moved to tears (not so pretty either).

When true, honest and pure, surrender and worship shows up like it did with Paul, it can take your breath away and you make really ugly faces! (This group did anyway!)

So, what is the Peanut Butter and Jelly about? During one of our growth group in depth discussions, the subject of how you like your PB&J came up. We could go really deep sometimes!! Paul was very opinionated about the correct way to make this American classic, jelly on one piece of the bread and peanut butter on the other, NEVER both on one piece of bread. I 100% agreed with him! I knew from then on I was really going to like this guy.

Our time in growth group together came to an end and I hadn’t spoken with Paul and his wife for some time before I heard of his passing. But this morning God woke me up early remembering Paul and the way he liked his PB&J! It brought a smile to my face and tidal wave of memories about Paul’s faith, wisdom and goofy nature!!!
On, February 17th, 2010 Paul left this earth and is eternally healed. He will be missed by so many but I thank God for using something little like, the PB&J to help me remember Paul’s true essence and heart for God.

Paul’s life is an inspiration for me on my journey. Paul trusted God and His plan for his life. I am still working on that. Thanks Paul, for your unshakable faith and great example of loving God in all things and circumstances.

1 Peter 4: 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.

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I am failing. I feel most days truly like a failure. In Webster’s dictionary Failure is defined as: The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or Nonperformance of what is requested or expected.

Why do I feel this way? How am I failing? I feel I am failing because I continue to struggle everyday with the understanding of God’s plan for my life. I want change. I want my life to be easier. I want to have a heart that is filled with joy and only spills out joy and love to everyone around me. I want to be in control of my emotions with the people I love. I want to feel love for all of the people I know I should love.

I want God to hear my cries today and answer me, now. Clearly, answer me, tell me it will be better and here is how it is going to get better. I cling to his promises for my life, but doubt the reality in my life today.

I can’t stop myself from feeling unheard, unworthy, and I know that these feelings and beliefs come only from the evil one and that makes me feel like I am failing again.

I want to be a better mom. I want my children to always feel love from me never fear. I want to be able to step back take a breath and have patience with my children, but my tank feels so empty.

I want to be a better wife. I want to feel grace for him. I want to be his biggest cheerleader. I want to have respect for him even when he hurts me. I want him to feel safe in our relationship.

I want to be a better friend. I want my friends to always feel like they are being built up, never torn down by me. I want them to trust me. I want them to need me as much as I desperately need them.

I want to be a better daughter. I want my parents to always feel appreciated and honored. I want my mother-in-law to feel like I am honoring to her son. I want to make my parents proud.

I want to be a better sister. I want to always have time for my siblings when they need me. I want to stay connected with them. I want to remember/ask about what is going on in there lives and listen to them.

I want to be a better child of God. I want to know in my soul that my heavenly father doesn’t think I am a failure. I want to hear his voice. I want always to honor him; in want I say and do.

I am not there yet. I am trying. Pray for me. Pray for a heart that continues to desire these changes even when I only feel failure. Pray for me to be able to see change in myself no matter how small.

Pray for me to embrace the gift of grace during my journey, and stay the course; don’t take the easy way around anything I need to change.

Recently, while waiting in the check-out line at the grocery store, I decided to buy an “In Style” magazine, I guess I felt like I needed some style in my life. Maybe it was the sweats, ponytail and baseball cap I was wearing that made me decide to purchase the magazine or beautiful Heidi Klum, soon to be mother of four, smiling at me as if to say, you too can look this fabulous. Either way, I bought it and when I had time later that night to look at the magazine, I found a very interesting article titled, “10 Ways to Look Better Naked”.

Here they are in an abreviated form:
1. Keep Lights on and use amber light bulbs.
2. Make up to give you come-hither eyes,flushed cheeks and ripe sensual lips.
3. Self tanner over stretch marks.
4. Detox bath, you can lose 3 inches of water weight for 48 hours.
5. “Special hair” removal techniques…
6. Put Hair in a french twist, spray with hair spray, let out later for tossed effect.
7. Before you shower mini-workout(squats, push-ups etc)
8. Camouflage body blemishes with cream concealer.
9. Highlight the small of your back with a open backed dress.
10. Body wash with Glycolic Acid, to make skin feel smooth.

Seriously? I am exhausted just reading about it. So, I have come up with my own 10 Ways to look better naked.

1. Keep the Lights off!! Then you/he can imagine you look like you both did 20 years ago!!
2. Don’t wear any type of make up that makes anything on you look ripe, that only made me hungry, resulting in me downing a bag of, oh, so, ripe, “Doritos” potato chips.
3. Completely cover any stretch marks with full body armor (aka gurtle/”spanks”).
4. Do not detox!! Nobody talks about what happens after the 48 hours of feeling skinny!!!(let’s just say, not feeling so skinny!)
5.Waxing “special hair” I don’t even want to think about the ingrown hair issues this could cause! Do not attempt this at home. Hire a trained professional if you must!
6. I like to think of my ponytail as a french twist and that special bump I get in my hair after wearing it all day, gives it that disheveled elegance!
7. 5 minute workout(yeah riiiiight…)
8. Forget the concealer on body blemishes, you’ve got your body armor on!
9. Draw attention to the small of your ear lobes(not your back), with your Valentine’s present! hint, hint, hint
10. Say no to full body chemical peel, and yes to a box of your favorite chocolates!!!(not sure if that will help you look better naked but you will have a better attitude!)

My favorite valentine memory, hands down, is the Valentine of 1990. I was a junior in college at the University of Northern Iowa and my boyfriend, Michael, was a junior at Iowa State University. We had started dating the summer before our senior years in High School. Although we were at different colleges we spent most weekends together, either at each other’s schools or back at home.
On Valentine’s Day 1990, there was a horrible snow storm and Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday. It seemed as if Michael and I would not get to see each other this Valentine’s Day. But he had other plans!! Even though there was a snow storm he drove to my college picked me up, drove to our home town, about an hour away and took me out to dinner!
It was a great dinner and before we started our trek back to my school, Michael needed to pick something up at his home. As we got to his house he told me he had a song he wanted to play for me on the piano. I was getting a little nervous about the weather and his drive back to his school but agreed to hear the song.
He had written a song for me, he told me to close my eyes and listen to the song. It was beautiful and at the end he asked me to marry him!!!!
What I didn’t know but was about to find out, was that our parents, grandparents and siblings some with spouses(and babies), were all downstairs listening to the whole thing!!! It was a great celebration!
One more thing, Michael had hidden a video camera in a laundry basket and videotaped the whole thing!
It is not only a Valentine memory I will never forget but one that I cherish very much.
Michael and I have been married for almost 19 years and have three beautiful children. God has blessed us beyond measure.

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For Christmas my husband got me a Kindle. Love it! The very first book I read was “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch. Great book, loved it and I highly recommend it!

In the book Randy writes about the dreams he had as a young boy and his desire to fulfill all of those dreams before he died. One dream he had was to be an imaginer at Disney World. He was able to fulfill that dream as a young grad student and when he became a father, he planned a trip back to Disney World with his father and son, Dylan.

Just as they were getting on board the train that gives you a tour around the park, Randy’s father noticed that the engineer had seats available up next to him and made a comment about how much fun that would be for Dylan, to ride up front with the engineer. Randy watched as his father continued to board the train on a normal seat and decided to go ask the engineer if the three of them could ride with him in the front. The engineer said, “Yes, please do!”

I love that Randy didn’t hold back and just asked the question. There was a desire of the heart, so he asked. Simple. This made me think of how many questions or desires I have that never get asked because I assume I already know the answer. I know sometimes I want something so desperately for myself or my family, that I share my struggle with all of my friends but never stop to ask God.

In the bible God tells us that he will answer our prayer requests. But we need to ask. It’s not that he doesn’t know our hearts desire, he does, God wants community with us. He wants us to continually communicate with him in all things. There is no request to big or too little. He is into the little stuff just as much as the big.

We may not get the answer we want and we may not get an answer immediately, but he will answer. It will be an answer according to His will and His plan for our lives.

So, what are you waiting for? Ask! The God of the universe, your heavenly Father, is waiting to hear from you and would love to answer your questions.
Matthew 21:22 (NIV)
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Who were you 20 years ago, 10 or even 5? I know for me the farther back I go the more I desire to be less like who I was in the past. Not that the girl of twenty years ago was all bad. Twenty years ago I was a junior in college working toward my B.S. in Psychology with a minor in Journalism at the University of Northern Iowa. My future was wide open; it was a very exciting time of my life. I lived on my own, and loved being independent from my parents. The problem was I had a huge drinking problem. Binge drinking; I was able to sustain great grades, 3.7 GPA , but Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights were spent drinking to get drunk. When I think of the dangerous situations I put myself in, my faith grows ever wider and deeper. God truly protected me through my college years. God was far from my thoughts and actions. Thank goodness He didn’t recipracate the act. We can never truly escape our past and who we have been but we are in control of who we are today. I am in control of how I handle the stresses this world demands of me. My insecurities are no longer in control of the direction of my life. Don’t get me wrong I still have insecurities but with God’s help I am committed to keeping them in check. I believe we need to embrace our past. My past is a vital part of who I am today and in some respects it is what motivates me. There are many things from my past that cause a great deal of shame but knowing and understanding this, helps me when I am faced with similar situations and choices I need to make. I know that I will make mistakes today, tomorrow and next week but by the grace of God I hope I keep my eyes open to my failures and hold tight to the assurance God offers me, that I am His and my sins and past have been paid in full. Recently, I heard someone described learning from our past like this…”being in a row boat, on a lake facing our past but rowing away from it, looking at it straight on but moving away from it to open, uncharted waters.” My tendency has been to turn away from my past. To try and hide it behind me, giving it a good swift kick when it would try to peek out and expose itself. Today I am committed to turn and face it, embrace it but not glorify it. Where is your past? Behind you for sure, but are you looking at it as you row into new uncharted waters?

Acts 13: 38 (NIV) “Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.” 2009/11/14 Published @ mudpiesformom.com

A few highlights from the year 1990!!! . January 31 – Cold War: The first McDonald’s in Moscow, Russia opens. February 11 – Nelson Mandela is released from Victor Verster Prison, near Cape Town, South Africa, after 27 years behind bars. March 26 – The 62nd Academy Awards, hosted by Billy Crystal, are held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles, California, withDriving Miss Daisy winning Best Picture April 24 – The Space Shuttle Discovery places the Hubble Space Telescope into orbit May 22 – Microsoft releases Windows 3.0. June 7 – Universal Studios Florida opens to the public July 7 – In Rome, the Three Tenors sing together for the first time. August 2 – Gulf War: Iraq invades Kuwait, eventually leading to the Gulf War. September 18 – The International Olympic Committee awards the 1996 Summer Olympics to Atlanta,Georgia October 3 – Cold War: East Germany and West Germany reunify into a single Germany. November 12 – Tim Berners-Lee publishes a more formal proposal for the World Wide Web.

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Being the middle child really is tough.  I have always considered myself the middle child.  There is four of us, my brother first and then three girls.  I am the middle girl, so I consider myself the middle child. (Maybe a stretch but it has worked out for me so far!)

I am a mother of three, so for those literal types out there, I have a “real” middle child.  He is my joy and fear at the same time.  God is so masterful in how he creates each one of us.  All of my children have such unique personalities.  This was very frustrating at first.  When I felt like I had gotten something figured out with my first child, it would have been nice to use that knowledge on the other two as they came along….but that wasn’t part of God’s design for me as a parent!! I have had to learn different ways to get my children to obey, be motivated and communicate their feelings.

My Noah, oh my Noah.  How I love him.  He is the spitting image of his Daddy.  He is creative, outgoing, competitive, has a heart for Jesus and I think, very handsome!!  Why then, do I struggle, in connecting with him as his mother?  It is a shameful thing to admit that I struggle with this.

Noah is also, a strong willed child.  We butt heads on almost everything.  Sometimes the drama that he creates around some of the simplest things, like putting on his shoes, dumbfounds me.  In my most sacred parts of my soul, I know some of my struggle comes from how much I see of myself in him.

This inner struggle he seems to have, to be heard, noticed, and given praise is never fulfilled.  But is it ever in any of us?  Maybe I relate to his struggle because I am a middle child too.  I have always tried to fill him up because I know what a life of never feeling full can lead to.  I want him to learn from my mistakes and feel full, heard, noticed and known.

In an attempt to continue to fill him up, I started leaving him Notes on his desk 2 or 3 times a week.  Saying things like, “you have a beautiful smile” or “I am so happy God let me be your mom”….and then last week while I was writing one of my notes to him, it hit me, God has left all of us notes to help fill us up.  Notes that give encouragement, security, love, forgiveness and grace.  We can find all of His notes in the Bible.  God is the only thing that can fill any of us up.  So my notes for Noah became scripture.  Notes that Noah’s heavenly Father has sent for him.  I just get to be the messenger!

Thank you Lord, for your book full of notes for all of us. Thank you Lord, for filling me up!  Thank you Lord, for letting me be Noah’s mom.

Go check your book full of notes from the One and only God of the Universe.  He has written them just for you.

Romans 8:38-39 (New Living Translation)

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.